I spoke to a friend about religion. He was telling me that he had recently turned to religion again to seek solace due to certain family problems/ affairs. It gave him a sense or a way to understand what was going on around him.
It caused me to reflect on my own beliefs. I guess I never questioned why. Not when it wasn't feasible to find out, or not realizable. Like why did my cousin jump? I'll never know will I? I suppose I see no need for an answer. Of course knowing why would be good, informationally. But to me I guess it doesn't solve anything. Its not going to bring him back is it. For closure? The only closure I need is that he is gone. I guess what I take out of it is... that I should treasure those I love more so I won't regret. Life is short.

"Love taught me to cry" -Damien Rice. How true. It was my parents who taught me to cry...although my dad used to make me not cry. I remember he called me "crybaby" once. And I felt so hurt. Here I was, sad as hell, and he called me a cry baby. Of course after that he tried to be nice.but I suppose the damage was done. And now, I guess whn you hope too much for something, you get sad. And sometimes you still sillily (I know the word doesn't exist) hang on. For what you wonder? For closure? And I thought I don't need closure haha.

So many thoughts running through my mind now..I just have to spit it all out. I was listening to my collection of songs, and all I can say is they are utterly depressing. One after another, its about how the girl needs the guy. SO whiny. Why can't the girl be strong for once? And not need to rely on someone? I used to be like that..too independent. But I guess sometimes its nice to have someone to fall back on..but then again as I said. Way whiny. oh well.